Author: 大雨相 lß

3月5日子嫻約我在Cafe Mano見面，那天剛好是我搬來柏林的一週年，爾子嫻則在德國生活了七年後，準備搬回台灣，正在和這裡做最終的告別。子嫻說她一直想去看看這家朋友推薦卻一直沒機會去的咖啡，咖啡館就在我以前住的地方旁邊，我剛來柏林時總在那裡件朋友。3月5日正直國際婦女節前夕，我忙著和大陸、香港、台灣聲援巴勒斯坦的夥伴們正在集體寫作一篇華人酷兒、女權主義者聲援巴勒斯坦的集體公開信。子嫻原本約我下午兩點見面，但因為兩點我要和「三八」文宣族的夥伴們在Zoom上開會，只好和她推遲到三點。兩點我來到Cafe Mano，卻發現因為和東八區的時區差大家把開會時間搞錯了，沒能開成會我給子嫻發信息叫她早點來。百無聊賴地等待時，我看到一個華人女孩走了進來，這是柏林最嬉皮的街區的一個嬉皮vibe的咖啡館，華人在這裡並不常見。看到她左顧右派地在找人，我想當然以為是子嫻，走過去「相認」卻很尷尬地認錯了人。三點鐘子嫻來了，我們交接完書，聊了兩個小時天，分享了很多對德國的沮喪，然後在人生的交叉路口道了別。

I met with ZZ on March 5th at Cafe Mano. That day just happened to be the first anniversary of my moving to Berlin, and ZZ was saying her final goodbyes as she was moving back to Taiwan after seven years in Germany. ZZ said she had always wanted to go to this cafe, which was recommended by a friend, but had never been able to. It's right next to where I used to live and where I used to meet my friends when I first came to Berlin, and on the 5th of March right before international Women's Day, it was where I was busy with partners from the Mainland, Hong Kong, and Taiwan writing a collective open letter from Chinese queers and feminists in support of Palestine. ZZ had originally asked me to meet her at 2pm, but since I had a meeting with the March 8 group on Zoom at 2pm, I had to postpone it until 3pm. I arrived at Cafe Mano at 2 only to find out that due to the time zone difference with UTC+08, I got the meeting time was wrong and had missed it. I sent a message to ZZ telling her to come earlier. As I waited, I saw a Chinese girl walk in. This place has a hippie vibe in bohemian neighbourhood of Berlin, and Chinese people are not commonly seen here. Seeing her looking around for someone, I thought of course it must be ZZ so walked over to her, only to be embarrassed that I was mistaken. At three o'clock ZZ arrived and she handed over the books. We chatted for two hours, shared our frustrations about Germany, and then said goodbye at this small crossroads of both of our lives.

SS收到了C送的禮物和卡片，很開心地吃完了好吃的紫薯芋泥餅，才想到這應該是送給展銷場所有同事的，有點兒不好意思……「世界繫於友愛」的寄語很感人。

一起坐下聊天。雖是初次見面，但彼此相處很自然，收件人C給予了慢遞員S充分的信任，分享了她在高中時撞到「徐州鐵鍊女」事件新聞時的感受、思考和行動。這讓S瞬間閃回到34年前那個春夏之交，18歲迷惘小鎮青年的他在電視上看到那場殘酷慘烈運動的新聞時的心境。相近的年齡和相似的經歷，很多的感同身受……彷彿一個魔法被實施，34年前被小心地封裝、深埋進心底的衝擊、質疑、追問、苦痛、顫慄和孤獨，在今天，這個特別的時刻，得到了懸置已久的回應。

回程進地鐵站的時候看見這位跟C近乎同齡的女孩，後背上的字是「Dead Inside」，她一邊在玩手游一邊在笑，走路、等地鐵、乘車、下車都沒停過片刻，完全沈浸在自己封閉的世界里，彷彿周圍是無人之境。C跟我聊到的、她選擇的，是與之相反的方向吧：對周圍的人懷抱悲憫之心，時刻向周圍的環境展開觸角，並努力付諸改善的行動。

I receive a little card and gift of purple taro cakes from C. He happily finishes them before realising that maybe they were intended to share with other Display Distribute colleagues, and he is a bit embarrassed...... The very touching message on the card reads: "The world is bound by friendship".

We sat down and chatted together. Although it was the first time we met, we got along naturally. RECEIVER C, gave full trust to me, courier SS, sharing her feelings, thoughts, and actions about her time in high school and being shocked by the news about the "Xuzhou Chained Woman" incident. This instantly brought SS back 34 years, when he was 18 and had seen one brutal and tragic news incident on TV. It was at the cusp of spring and summer, and he was a lost young man then, of similar age and experience to C before him now. So much empathy... It was as if something magical was triggered, and carefully sealed incidents of 34 years ago—wounds buried deep in his heart, doubt, questions, pain, trembling, and loneliness—were today, after hanging in suspense for so long, finally heard.

On the way back to the metro station, I saw a girl of almost the same age as C wearing a shirt with the words "Dead Inside" on her back; she was smiling while playing games on her phone, walking around while waiting for the train. She boards the car, and later gets off at her stop without a pause, completely immersed in her own closed world as if there were no one else around her. What C and I had talked about earlier, and what she chooses to do, are completely the opposite: to have heart and compassion towards the people around her, and to always look at her surroundings. She is always reaching out around her, trying to make things better.

Recently hui jor goh dung ging trip hui jor 5 yat. Red eye flight soh yi day one ksud hai zombie mode jor cant do anything. And then day 2 chut jor moon hau sin sing hei mo dai cui (📦) chut gai. Soh yi day 3 chung yu hui jor ira to deliver. Hui dou goh chan gei geng cui ng hoi moon. And then read the notice more carefully gin dou hai later back and shorter hours jeh jau fong sum jor Ho qq. Arrive yuen gin dou notice jau jor hui fu gun walk around. And then 160x went back to wait and saw a couple waiting too. And then ngo dei hai gum “hahahah should we ring the bell” but there was no bell, just a light switch for that floor. At the end (by this time there’s already 6 of us waiting at the door) finally decided to knock. We heard noises inside but no one was opening the door gun ju boss jau came back and gomenasai opened the door~ while person inside 探頭出來 at the same time ✿✿ヽ(°▽°)ノ✿*⁂((✪⥎✪))⁂*